the power of YES

Recently I read something that has given me the renewed strength to say “yes” to something that I’ve said “no” to for far too long.

Before I share the article I read and before I tell you my “Yes Thing,” let me tell you a little back story about my first encounter with the Power of Yes.

Around the time when Marissa was six and Connor was three, I made a shift in my parenting. A shift that changed everything. It changed how I felt about my young children. It changed how they felt about me. And it changed how I felt about myself.

It was a simple yet complex shift.

Here is how our typical days were before the shift.

“Mom.”

“Mom?”

“Mom!”

“Mom, I want…”

“Mom, can I…?”

All day long, this is what I heard from the mouths of my babes. It’s what all moms hear all day from their kids. The constant wants and can I’s and Mom, Mom, Mom.

It takes its toll! It wears you out. It is beyond exhausting. It’s motherhood and there is no getting around it.

My typical answer to all the I wants and Can I’s was a resounding “No.”

No, was the answer at least 85% of the time. That is probably a low estimate! It was my knee-jerk answer. I was mothering on auto-pilot because the pilot was dead tired!

After one especially difficult day, Marissa asked for something for the umpteenth time and I turned on my heel and yelled, “NO!”  She ran off to her room, crying.

I sat down and began to cry myself, thinking, “For God’s sake, how soon until bedtime?”

Then I thought about what it was she was asking for. It wasn’t something huge, it was just another in the long list of “Can I’s” and I realized that there was really no good reason that she could not. Only that I was tired of being asked. That is the moment it dawned on me that it was OK to say “yes.” Not only was it OK, but it was also the right thing to do.

I had spent all my energy saying no, which just wore us all down. Saying simply “yes” seemed like the answer. I was fighting the small stuff, the stuff that didn’t matter.

I thought about going in and apologizing to my little daughter and telling her that mommy was going to try to do better. Instead, I put the kids to bed that Friday night and started the next day fresh, with a new attitude.

The attitude of YES!

That morning, the Mom, Mom, Mom’s began, and instead of my instant NO, I was conscious of saying Yes to all the little requests. I continued on my “yes brigade” for the entire Saturday. Surprisingly to me, the day went smoothly and everyone was happy, including me.

That night, as I was singing my daughter to sleep while I rubbed her back, she said, “Mommy, I had the best day today.”

“Me too, Missy May-May, me too.”

Here is the article about another mom’s journey with Yes. It made me smile from ear to ear and even brought a little tear to my eye.

Tomorrow I will share with you the scary Yes that I am finally going to say.