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the perfect comeback

Instead of a recipe, how about a little story about my experience at Costco today?

You know how you’re in a situation and after you walk away you think, “Why didn’t I say, “this that, or the other?”

Yeah, it happens all the time, you don’t think of that perfect response or come back until the situation is over and you’re away from it. Happens to me all the time too.

Do you know why? Because we don’t have TV comedy or drama writers following us around. It’s hard to think of the perfect thing to say in that second when you’re caught off guard.

Well, not today!  (actually, by the time you read this it will have been tomorrow, but as I write it, it is today.)

Today I had the perfect comeback and I couldn’t be prouder of myself. Here’s the story –

I was in line to check out at Costco, me, and dozens of other people. It was crazy busy at 3:00 on a Tuesday for what reason, I have no clue. I was sixth in line. A cashier arrived to open the register next to us. From the other direction, a woman began pushing her cart faster and faster to get to that soon-to-be-open register.  The cashier looked up and saw her just as she was pulling up. The cashier said, “Ma’am, first I’ll need to take these people who’ve been waiting in line.”  The woman started backing up and said, “Fine, I’ll just fall in behind them.”

The first three people in our line already had their stuff on the belt, so the fourth guy moved over, and then the fifth guy, who was in front of me, pushed his cart over. As I followed him, the woman pushed her cart in front of me. The guy directly in front of me looked back at her and nodded in my direction. She looked back and said to me in a rude and snotty tone, “Oh, so you’re coming over here too?”

In my most calm, cool, and collected voice, I said, “Yes, I am.”

She again backed her cart up, looked at me, and in an angry voice asked, “Are you doing that just to spite me?!”

In my same calm tone, I replied, “Not initially.”

She spat back, “What is that supposed to mean?!”

The guy in front of me, who had his eyes on this quick exchange, replied, “It means that you’re acting like a bitch.”

I could have hugged him! At that point, the cashier got involved again and suggested the woman move to another line. She went off in a huff.

I thanked the guy and he shook his head and said, “Some people.”

When it was my turn to checkout, the cashier, who has been there for years, repeated with a laugh what I had said, “Not initially,” and told me that she had not heard that perfect of a comeback in a long time. And she couldn’t wait to tell the story in the break room.

To make it all the sweeter, she is one of the fasted cashiers in the place, she had the three of us and at least one more person checked out before that nasty woman even had her stuff on the belt at another register.

Sometimes things work out just as they should.

*All images swiped from the internet.

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