rant

There are so many little everyday things in life to be grateful for, such as allowing the last artichokes of the season to go to flower instead of picking and eating. Then there are those things that just annoy the living daylights out of you!  You know, things you consider to be the actual bane of your existence. During summer cooking classes, I have two such things that happen, not just once in a while, but daily… every single day, people!

The first of these has to do with the 12 aprons we use in class. Aprons – now how can aprons possibly be an issue? Here, look at these pictures and you shall understand.

Yes, aprons keep your clothes clean, but then they need to be washed… in a washing machine… with a spin cycle. And no matter what I do, they come out in a huge, massive, tight knot.

It took a full 8 minutes to free the first one…

Then another 5 minutes until 3 more were loosened.

After all that unwrapping, twisting, prodding, pulling, and cursing (there is always cursing involved) the remaining 8 are a breeze, take that mass of long ties! Trust me, these aprons NEVER have and NEVER will see the inside of the dryer!

Even the thought of untangling them twice in one day sends me over the edge. Plus with 110-degree temps outside, they dry quicker than they would in the dryer, and it’s free!

The second thing I have an issue with, I need to give you a little history about… When I first started LPG 17 years ago, we lived in a different house, a house that had dark saltillo tile throughout the kitchen and breakfast room.  After each class, I’d sweep the floor, spot clean any noticeable spills, and call it a day. Then on Friday or Saturday, mop the floors and start all over the next week.

Then we moved to this house with its light, almost white, marble floors throughout nearly the entire downstairs; including the kitchen, breakfast room, dining room, powder room, living room, and laundry room.  So nice and cool during the summer, and besides, I’m not a fan of carpet. Oh, happy day! 

Until, the end of the first cooking class, that first summer after we moved in.

You know how it is after you’ve mustered up the time and patience to let your kids help you cook – at the end of it all, it looks like a tornado came through the kitchen. 

I know that too, I’m used to that- it’s part of my chosen career. But the white marble floors after that first class! I was in shock, despair, and physical, emotional, and mental pain when I saw my floors! The dirt, grime, food, and spilled liquid mess was literally ground into the tile.

I spent hours that first dreadful afternoon, on my hands and knees, cleaning each individual tile. I was in tears and just thinking about that saltillo tile in the old house and how filthy it was, without me ever knowing it… eww!  Then I showered (the sweat was pouring off me), pulled myself together, and drove directly to the hardware store and purchased these seven-floor mats.

They saved not only my floors but my sanity that day! When laid on the floor, under each work area, they allow the gunk and spills to fall through the holes, while the shoes stay on the mats, no grinding into the tile. Just move out the mats and sweep, spot clean where needed, and call it a day.

So what’s the problem with your miracle mats, you ask? The problem is that they are heavy (nearly 18 pounds each), big (3 ft x 4 ft), awkward, and have to be drug in and out of the house each and every day, hosed off, laid out to dry, stacked, kept out of the sun (they get as hot as blue blazes in the sun!)

Oh, and did I mention that they are heavy!?!

OK, that’s the end of my rant for the day, and in conclusion, let me say that LPG cooking school could not exist without the aprons or the floor mats… I am grateful for both!