heartache and joy

First off, I have to say, “Has it really been 13 years?”

Hard to believe.

That morning is as fresh in my mind and heart as it was 13 years ago. The thoughts and memory of it can flood my eyes with tears in an instant. Every anniversary I just want to scream out, “God Bless America.”

As adults, we learn that to truly appreciate joy, you must have had heartache. You can’t appreciate true beauty unless you’ve seen ugliness. If everything in life was perfect, we would not be able to appreciate it with all the sameness of that boring perfection.

Our family experienced that reality and life lesson last week.

As you know, the first week of September, I was in Rancho La Puerta with Barb and Kim. Late on Labor Day afternoon, we were in one of the two WiFi zones and I found a text that my husband, Dave, had sent earlier that day. From it, I sadly learned that my sister-in-law, Debbie, had died in a tragic car accident that morning in Illinois. Debbie is the wife of Dave’s oldest brother, Roger. All of Dave’s family live in Illinois. Roger and Debbie had been married for 41 years. Days later, I did the math and realized that Debbie had been in Dave’s life since he was just 13 years old.

I spent the next day scrambling to make the arrangements to get myself out of Mexico, back to San Diego, and then home to Phoenix. Dave made our travel arrangements to Illinois. I flew home on Wednesday and we flew to Chicago on Thursday.

Roger and Debbie are “big-time” in their town of DeKalb, Illinois. Roger is the former city planner and Debbie was a retired professor from Northern Illinois University. Everyone knows them, as was clear from the 600 to 700 people who showed up to stand in line for over two hours at her visitation. Police offices, firefighters, NIU professors, faculty and students, CPA professionals, friends of the couple, and their two grown children, Tony and Megan. Even Starbucks baristas and T.J. Maxx employees came to show their respect and give condolences. Debbie was a proud Starbucks addict and an enthusiastic shopaholic!

To give you a glimpse into what kind of person Debbie was, here is a small excerpt of an article from the NIU website. To read the entire article GO HERE.

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Obviously, the loss of a family member is the heartache I mentioned at the beginning.

But that weekend in Illinois also brought immense joy! On Saturday, as we were all en route to the funeral, our niece, Katie, went into labor with her firstborn. Katie is the daughter of Dave’s middle brother, Tom, and his wife, Beth. Katie’s due date was Sunday, so her mother strictly forbade her from coming to the visitation on Friday or the funeral on Saturday. (As much as a mother can forbid a grown daughter from doing anything!) As always (YES ALWAYS!) mother knows best, as Katie learned early that Saturday morning when her water broke.

As Dave and I sat in the church pew next to Dave’s mom, Tom and Beth, and their middle daughter Mo, and her fiance, Brandon. Our tears were mixed with the joy in our hearts and minds thinking of Katie laboring at the hospital with her husband Eddie at her side. Sweet Kody Ellen was born just hours later.

My favorite moment of that eventful day was when I opened my Facebook feed later that evening and found this posted by new first-time aunt, Mo.

Exactly, Mo, well said!

Rest in Peace, Sweet Debbie. Welcome to this crazy beautiful world, Kody Ellen!

Tomorrow … fun at Rancho La Puerta and a recipe.